Remember our conversation about taking back the word slut? (If not, check it out here.) Along the same lines as reclaiming sexually charged and, yes, degrading words, I propose we take back the crotch shot.
Why should Weiner be the only one having so much fun with his? I’ve decided that women should begin taking explicit crotch shots.
I don’t think we’re really surprised when a male politician does something fantastically adolescent with his penis. Maybe we are disappointed. I know I was disappointed with John Edwards. John Edwards had schmoozed with Oprah and a whole country of women fell in love with him and his warm brown eyes. And when he broke Elizabeth’s heart? He broke all of ours. Politicians spend their days asking for people to trust them. When they screw up, it’s personal. Now, depending on your politics, some political dalliances are harder to stomach than others. Arnold and Maria? I’m sorry, but that man moves like an erect penis, of course his was taking field trips.
I’d like to see something not as predictable as male politicians fathering children outside of their marriages. Female politicians spreading their legs after plying off their mandatory nylons, now that’d be original. Sarah Palin wears the shortest skirts. Sarah Palin would have the quickest access to her crotch. True to form since she’s the exception to all things political.
So I played a little arts and crafts game. I superimposed Weiner’s penis onto Pelosi’s body. I was suddenly more aware of how bazaar and unofficial his behavior was. I would be much, much more shocked if a female politician had behaved in such a way. Is that sexism at work? You betcha, and it’s the worst kind, the invisible kind. I’d believe she’d gone crazy.
If the women of the Democratic Party began to submit shots down there, what would the Democratic Party say then? There would not be a single lone voice suggesting that she had done many good things and that people make mistakes. Because grown up women, in positions of political power, thus far in our history, do not make public sophomoric mistakes. The reasons for this are many. But I know first hand, most women (with the exceptions of the 40-something-year-old women on Red Hot Boudoir who are taking the crotch and ass shot very seriously ) Weiner’s age are not feeling so physically full of themselves that nude photos are how they’re getting affirmed. That’s the easiest answer. And I’m going with it. I understand that there are many other reasons. But my children told me to stay on the surface in this post and stop thinking so hard. It was too confusing.
But that fact that I had not even considered the possibility of a female politician behaving so irresponsibly was fascinating. In my mind, a female politician would not act so recklessly. But what if they did?
So, I wondered if Pelosi waxed her chest. I wondered if she wore briefs to work at the While House. Or leopard print thongs from Victoria Secret’s? I hoped she felt free to wear thongs and to pack a retractable whip, so that when her office door was closed she could take it out and snap the air. Oh, that’s right. Pelosi is actually doing her job. So, she doesn’t have time for an extracurricular activity.
I believed, after recovering from the shock that I had missed a sexist angle that I’d found the stone that needed peering beneath. I was so excited that I read my idea to my 14-year-old daughter and 16-year-old son. They said the clinical words I’d used were too stuffy. They thought I needed to make the post less serious and more of a joke.
To my teenagers, though illegal, sexting is not a big deal. This is backed up by current statistics. Current statistics by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Unwanted Pregnancy, 22 percent of girls and 18 percent for boys are sexting away. So, if Weiner were a teenage boy, he’d be out-sexted by his female peers. He’d be just a blip on a phone. No biggie whatsoever. And the 21-year-old woman who got the uninvited Weiner text? I asked. She’s practically middle-aged in teenage eyes. They assured me she’d be fine. In other words, she’s not going to be psychologically damaged by the picture.
But I had seen the shock in my children’s eyes. And I was sure that their minds had begun to churn with the idea of a woman in political office taking pictures of her crotch. That had surprised them. But Wiener had not. So, I had done my job. As a parent I want my children aware of their world. I want them engaged in the conversations that swirl around them. And most importantly, I wanted them to know how to think critically. And, they do. Convinced that we all had something new to consider, I went to sleep.
(Image by Wylie Maercklein)