The Love Story of Four Eyes, Johnny Depp & Cheap Glasses

Posted on November 4, 2011 by


This review and post was made possible by Thanks for my glasses!

In the second grade, the teacher caught me squinting, and alas, I was handcuffed to a pair of glasses. This wasn’t an easy time for me. Second grade I was pretty tomboyish to begin with, had a weird obsession with purple and the glasses just cemented my fate into not fitting in the way I would have liked. Some old “friends” on Facebook posted pictures of me in my glasses and tagged me. Don’t you just love FB? The way it brings up all those old pictures of you that you hated to begin with?

As I got older, I found it hard to embrace the glasses. They were an extension of awkward and reminded me of the boy who called me four-eyes on the street corner. And then women started popping up with hard core glasses like Jenna Lyons and Demi Moore. Hard edged women with serious frames that spoke to the funky, the flare and the serious. Why should your lack of eyesight be an issue when it can be the focus? These women looked hot in their glasses and make their sexy come alive with their adorable secretary frames, or their horn-rimmed frames, or their dominatrix frames. Then herein erupted a new problem: the frames I wanted were entirely too expensive.

Jenna Lyons J. Crew glasses

Jenna Lyons, creative director of J. Crew, looking fabulous in her glasses.

But I’m not the only one who wears glasses in my family. My husband does too. My entire concept of glasses completely changed when Johnny Depp started wearing those dark horn-rimmed glasses. I went bonkers and gave my husband a Johnny Depp makeover (you can read about that makeover on my old blog). “People used to tell me I looked like John Denver,” Andy said. Oh, that man cracks me up.

Not only did my husband look hot in his new JD-like spectacles, but I started coveting them myself. (Oh, and outside of the whole fashion thing–there was also the tiny issue that my eyes were developing hard spots from over-use of contacts.) Because we couldn’t afford to be a two-person Oliver Peoples household (Andy’s glasses cost over $300),  I ordered these hipster black beauties from (The Bolt) for $70.


Big smile.


Hello gorgeous.

Though I got my glasses for naught, the price point of 1800specs is what attracted me to them. $20-$70 for glasses. Amazing. No overhead=cheap glasses. Right? They’re like Amazon. They can offer the same glasses you see in an eyeglass store, but for less. All I needed was my prescription, which my eye doc mailed to me. Your prescription is yours, folks. All you have to do is ask your eye doc for a copy and they will mail it to you. They are not allowed to keep it.

glasses 5

These are not $25,000. (I'm doing my best Dana from the Housewives impersonation.)

It was a surprisingly super easy experience. I plugged in my prescription (they give you simple directions) and clicked on a pair. Is is weird to buy glasses online without trying them on first? Sure. But like my other favorite company, Zappos, they have a 365 return & refund policy. They’ll even correct your prescription if you fill out the form incorrectly.

Because of the thickness of my frame, I usually have to spend $$$ to shrink my coke-bottle lenses. But my Jenna Lyons-like glasses were $70. I found a pair of Demi Moore-like glasses for $20. And hello, it’s a big investment to make your husband look like Johnny Depp. But I found a pair of of Johnny Depp-like glasses for $80. Cheap! Plus, Jake said: “Mom, you look a little sexy to boys.” Is that kind of like how Miri’s son Gabe told her she was “hot” next to the Wailing Wall?

jake and hayley glasses

Me and DJ Lance Rock in our glasses.

Needless to say, I wish we knew about a year ago. And while I might not ever give full embrace to my awkward stage, I can finally embrace my new look with eyes wide open–and with clear vision.