She doesn’t look much like a robot here.
I see the similarities between Katie Holmes extracting herself from Tom Cruise and the Church of Scientology and an abusive relationship.
There’s the paranoia, the insistence of constant reaffirmation of love, the reports that she had to rent a new apartment first without telling him just to get out, the controlling decisions made by the man in charge about what will happen with your life and the child’s life. And if you disagree? Disagree? That’s not in the vocabulary when you’re in an abusive relationship–or married to Tom Cruise, I suppose. He heals you. He knows all. He’s going to put your 6-year-old daughter on a military-like boat or boarding school resort where you can come on “visiting days.” Your assessments are wrong. Your emotions are wrong. You haven’t submitted. Or given yourself entirely.
But only when I delved further into it, did I learn that an abusive relationship is in fact a lot like a cult. So much so that if you google the two words (abusive + cult + relationships), you’ll come up with an array of links. But a term I had never heard was this one: “one-on-one cult.” Maybe Miri, our resident shrink can weigh in?
Apparently the one-on-one cult is similar to a large cult where a man dominates the relationship. He’s a dictatorial leader. Has inescapable magnetism. He’s convinced you that without him you are nothing. Or that your children will be nothing. He’ll incite fear. He’ll make you believe that you are powerless and helpless without him. That you can’t do simple tasks because you are incapable. And maybe you will begin to believe this. And we wonder why she thinks the Scientologists are tailing her? (Who’s to say they’re not?) Either way, her paranoia is a result of that abuse.
I’ve never found this relationship fascinating. Like most of you, I thought it was a five year contract and now she’s, like, out. Give me my money, babe. But I’ve come around in the past day or so. Thinking about what it takes to surprise a man like Tom Cruise. To leave an extremely powerful cult. One that does not like to let people go.
I’m giving the woman props.
(Image: Lainey Gossip/Splash News, FameFlynet)
Miriam Novogrodsky
July 3, 2012
Hayley, I think this is a really, really important post. I hadn’t considered how Katie Holmes’ departure was like the rescue of a person from a cult or the de-programing. — what was that movie from the 1980′s about the young adult whose family rescues her from a cult and then has to de-program her?
It’s actually scary. I hope she is able to stay safe and well.
mely
July 4, 2012
Great post! That man has always seems like a crazy dictator.
Hayley Krischer
July 4, 2012
Yes, and it makes you wonder how the beginning of this relationship started. If she was actually entranced by his charisma and powerful stance in Hollywood or if there really was a contract as the gossip mags say. Either way, I find the psychological piece fascinating. Thanks for commenting.
Samantha
July 18, 2012
Dictator? Oh for crying out loud. I hope the he doesn’t read this because you just boosted his ego even more by calling him a dictator. He is a man with a sick mind. He believes aliens live in his house. I think people are making him out to be some kind of God, which is very dangerous. I am glad for Katie she is getting away from him. After a so-called man, that has had 3-4 marriage or how many he had, shows there is something very wrong with him. I wish his former wives would open up their mouths and speak the truth of this man so save others from his clutches. Someone said they didn’t care if he is abusive as she would marry him anyway because he has lots of money. What is our society coming to? To marry and support a sociopath. He has sociopathic behaviors. I noticed Katie’s appearance has deteriorated. She doesn’t look as good as she used to and I truly believe it’s due to the abuse. It happened to me. I was so mentally abused my mind and appearance showed the abuse. I hope Katie does well as she deserves some peace for this freak. I thought it odd that Cruise marry a woman so young. Told me that older women are smart and on to his cult tricks. He having to hide her divorce proceedings shows she is afraid of something. I wonder what that something is. If no one can figure that out than that is just plain stupidity..
Hayley Krischer
July 18, 2012
Yes, we’re directly discussing the psychological element in the post. Also, dictators are typically sociopaths. I highly doubt that would boost anyone’s ego.