I see the similarities between Katie Holmes extracting herself from Tom Cruise and the Church of Scientology and an abusive relationship.
There’s the paranoia, the insistence of constant reaffirmation of love, the reports that she had to rent a new apartment first without telling him just to get out, the controlling decisions made by the man in charge about what will happen with your life and the child’s life. And if you disagree? Disagree? That’s not in the vocabulary when you’re in an abusive relationship–or married to Tom Cruise, I suppose. He heals you. He knows all. He’s going to put your 6-year-old daughter on a military-like boat or boarding school resort where you can come on “visiting days.” Your assessments are wrong. Your emotions are wrong. You haven’t submitted. Or given yourself entirely.
But only when I delved further into it, did I learn that an abusive relationship is in fact a lot like a cult. So much so that if you google the two words (abusive + cult + relationships), you’ll come up with an array of links. But a term I had never heard was this one: “one-on-one cult.” Maybe Miri, our resident shrink can weigh in?
Apparently the one-on-one cult is similar to a large cult where a man dominates the relationship. He’s a dictatorial leader. Has inescapable magnetism. He’s convinced you that without him you are nothing. Or that your children will be nothing. He’ll incite fear. He’ll make you believe that you are powerless and helpless without him. That you can’t do simple tasks because you are incapable. And maybe you will begin to believe this. And we wonder why she thinks the Scientologists are tailing her? (Who’s to say they’re not?) Either way, her paranoia is a result of that abuse.
I’ve never found this relationship fascinating. Like most of you, I thought it was a five year contract and now she’s, like, out. Give me my money, babe. But I’ve come around in the past day or so. Thinking about what it takes to surprise a man like Tom Cruise. To leave an extremely powerful cult. One that does not like to let people go.
I’m giving the woman props.
(Image: Lainey Gossip/Splash News, FameFlynet)