Why I’m Not Sending Holiday Cards 2012

Posted on December 14, 2012 by


Last year I had all sorts of reasons why I didn’t send holiday cards of my adorable kids. And though I got pummeled by some angry folks on the Huffington Post (e.g., Why would I call it a holiday card when it’s a Christmas card? Have I forgotten about the reason for Christmas? Oh, you know. Christ?) who didn’t get the note about Christmas morphing into an American holiday, all sorts of friends (real and digital) encouraged me to stick something in the mail anyway.

Friends offered to take pictures of my children! Kodak even tweeted me about finding the perfect card for my blended family.

Yet, in the end, I’m lazy. And like I said, last year, I love pictures of your cute fucking children so I’ll put them up on my mantle freely. Send all the pictures of your cute fucking children! Send pictures of yourself! I love them all. But me? No. I still haven’t been able to partake in the tradition.

With that said. My outtakes from last year were a BIG HIT!

Drum roll puh-leassse. Here are the Holiday Cards I wouldn’t have been able to send you even if I wanted to because they’re awful.

christmas on hanukkah

Yes, this is actually what we did on the first night of Hanukkah. We took a train ride from the Train Museum with Santa. Would have be adorable if a) Santa wasn’t so dirty. b)Train wasn’t so dirty. c) Is Andy sitting on Santa’s lap?? d) Hyper Santa was apparently on some serious ADHD meds that day because I could not take a picture without the man jumping up and down, therefore…blurry Santa photo.

Okay guys. So cute. Hugging. Adorable. Cuddling. Adorable.

Elke, get your finger out of your nose. I don’t care that you have a booger. Elke, no. I don’t want to see it. Elke, finger out of nose please. Elke….

Jake why are you laying on the floor? Okay, fine. Elke, get down on the floor next to him. Yes, we’ll just take the picture on the floor. Elke, sit next to him. Okay, smile. Wait. Why are you smushing his head? There’s no smushy smushy! Stop laughing, Jake. You can do the head massage after I take the picture. Guys!

I love this picture for so many reasons. It was taken during Hurricane Sandy. We were back in the house with limited power and hiding all of our valuables because of the burglaries. Though the kids were fine, they weren’t really fine. They were scared and freaked. But in this photo, I caught the cutest moment of them goofing around. Having fun. Not worried about the dark. Or the trees. Or the storm. Elke’s got her headlamp on–the only thing next to her blankie that made her feel safe. Too bad it’s so grainy and blurry. Then again, that’s how the aftermath of Sandy felt. Grainy and blurry.

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanza. Happy New Year.