Browsing All Posts filed under »humor«

Do You Have A Bitchy Resting Face?

June 14, 2013


Ever have someone say to you, “What’s wrong?” or, “You look like you’re in a bad mood?” or “Are you mad at me?” and you have no idea what they’re talking about. In fact, when they asked you that question–you were having the best day of your life! Then you might have Bitchy Resting Face, […]

Where’s My Writing Chair?

March 18, 2013


When I was growing up, I sat at our dining room table and wrote big books with crayon pictures. I wrote stories about girls and cats and snow picnics. I had a thing for the snow picnic, the idea of a basket under a tree, blanket spread out on the snow captured my imagination for […]

Betray Not Thyself

February 11, 2013


    In the NYT’s section, Modern Love, Caroline Leavitt, summarized her come to tortoise-Buddha experience with dating. She chose time by herself over time spent contorting herself, AKA betrayal of self, into a desirable partner. She opted out, and welcomed in, Minne, the tortoise: Every night I would take Minnie out of the tank […]

Drop All Those Self-Help Books, This Banana Slicer Will Change Your Life

January 25, 2013


When you first click on the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer and notice that there are 2,436 customer reviews it certainly sends out a signal to pay attention–and pay attention quick. First, I didn’t even realize banana slicers existed (and I am not out of the loop on singular-use kitchen utensils, okay. I have a hand-held […]

Elf On The Shelf: Santa’s Little Narc

December 3, 2012


Guest Post by Stephanie Lazenby As a parent I hold the key to many secrets, like the Tooth Fairy, what a mortgage is and where babies come from.  Santa is the biggest secret of all.  But now there is a new character being heaped onto to the pile of Christmas make-believe which adds onto my […]

Thanksgiving Drama: The Overcooked Turkey, The Vegetarian And The Emails

November 19, 2012


Though I’ve been a vegetarian since I was about 10, and have no interest in eating turkey whatsoever, I’ve always wanted to host Thanskgiving at my house. And since my sister-in-law, who usually hosts a beautiful Thanksgiving every year, called it quits on the holiday–after being out of power for almost two weeks, she and […]

Teenager Island

November 16, 2012


On Teenager Island, rituals of bed and bath and books are no longer. All that remains of Unicorn-Lollipop-Toddler- Island, are ghosts of your children in the curls of a four-year old girl, or in the hand of a boy, hidden inside his father’s palm. When parenting on Teenager Island there are a few essential items: […]

The Four Year Itch: Our Marriage to Obama

October 3, 2012


My dearest Barack: If you’d just go to couple’s therapy with me, I think we could work this out. But in case you won’t, busy running for president and all, I’ll just outline some of the bigger points we need to address: A. I don’t like being called sweetie in front of millions of people. […]

The Very Grouchy Apple Picker

September 10, 2012


Last Sunday, my sister, my thirteen-year old nephew, my fifteen-year old Sadie-girl, and my forty-something-something self, went apple picking. But a man wearing an apron stopped us before we could wander into the sweet humid orchards. Apron-man’s message? We would have to take a hayride and hand over fifteen dollars cash before any picking. No […]

My Daughter’s Brush With Social Suicide

August 27, 2012


I hadn’t heard of social suicide until the same child who invented pussy up, told me she could not ride the bike she’d saved for, because her helmet didn’t “go” with the bike. The long coveted bike was a powder blue cruiser; a-girl-on-the-way-home -from-the-beach, hair loose, a sandy-bare feet-riding-bike. The handle bars begged for a […]